Learn to Love Your Rejection Letters

Hi,

Hope you're not taking as long as I am getting back in the "writing" saddle this year. I have one excuse, I'm in the middle of a moving and building a house, both of which have to be completed by the 29th. I keep telling myself, "Stephen King wouldn't let a little thing like this keep him from writing."

Loads of Rejection Letters

While packing last night, I came across my rejection letters. When I started writing scripts over 20 years ago, one of the ways I stay motivated was to reread my rejection letters — and I had a LOT! They filled a three-ring binder.

They ranged from the harsh rejection, "NOT FOR US!" to the less painful, "Contact us again after the next draft." My favorite is the tiny rejection letter (1" x 2") that read, "Not interested" on one side and had the agency's address printed on the other.

My Buddies

Since I write for a living now, I decided it was time to move on and recycle the letters. It's not like I could sell them on Ebay or anything. So, off they went. And I was actually sad (still am a little) to say goodbye to them.

Why? They were my buddies for years and kept me writing. I know it sounds strange, but I figured only writers get rejection letters. People who think about writing, plan on writing, consider writing, or talk about writing, do NOT have rejection letters. And probably every famous writer out there has had his share of rejections letters. It's part of the journey. And I wanted to get going on that journey.

In short, every letter confirmed I was a writer.

Granted, getting published and produced is more fun than receiving a rejection letter, but I will always have fond feelings toward those pieces of paper. I may have to dig out an especially nasty one from the recycle bin to keep me company on my next phase of the journey.

di

Creating a Writers Group

I just joined the board of the NWSG. The topic of writers groups just came up. Members have said want to be part of one and the board is trying to see how we can facilitate that.

For a couple days emails were flying around. Everyone had an opinion on what made a good writers group:

• It should be a large group

• It should be no larger than 6 or 7

• It's chemistry, not size, that matters

• Everyone needs to be at the same level in their writing

• Everyone should have the same level of life experience

• It should cover marketing

• It shouldn't cover marketing, but focus on writing

Well, you get the idea. The group was basically describing the elements of successful writers groups they had belonged to. And, it appears, there are as many types of writers groups as there are writers.

(I think we ultimately decided to put together an evening mixer, where writers who are interested in forming a writers group can meet, talk and see what happens.)

My experience

I've been a part of the same writer's group since it began in 1988. We try to meet weekly, and we read our pages out loud and people give constructive feedback.

Today it's a rather tame group. When we started out, we were a radical bunch. We would crash other writers groups, bring in speakers, and go on road trips to conferences. We even started our own agency so we could represent each other and get our work out there (a story for another blog).

Over the years people have come and gone. Many have become produced, published and/or have full time jobs writing. And although we've had our ups and downs — like the time a woman left crying because she was there for complements not critique or when we had to get rid of the original leader — overall it's been a great experience.

I think there are several reasons why our group has been successful:

• There's a positive chemistry. We inspire each other.

• We're willing to try new things.

• We truly want to see the other writers succeed.

• We take time to have retreats, parties, etc., to breath new life into the group (In fact, the picture above is of our writers group at a retreat - minus the guys. Not sure why they couldn't make it.)

• We allow people to become the artists they need to be — even if that's not necessary a writer.

• We try to be honest with each other.

• We re-evaluate the goals of the group and let it evolve.

Life Expectancy

I've been part of other groups that have lasted as little as 1 year to up to 7 or 8 years. Groups are organic things. They change with the people. And like some relationships, they have a certain life expectancy.

One group I belonged too fell apart because the majority of the group became successful writers and didn't need the support anymore to help launch their careers. All writers groups should have such break up.

Final Thought

I could go on about writers groups all day, so I'll make this brief. If you are considering putting a writing group together, just make sure:

• it's a group that respects each other,

• that you all agree on the same goals, and

• you're willing to put in the time.

A writer's group is only as effective as its members. The ones that work are ones that ascribe to the old adage . . . it isn't what the writers group can do for you, but what you can do for your writers group.

Thoughts?

Do you belong to a writers group? I would love to hear how yours works and any insights you may have.

Talk to you later!

You Knew You Were a Writer When . . .

Every writer has had them . . . those moments when you realize, "I can't believe it. I'm a real writer."

I had one yesterday. I showed up in IMDB for Growing the Big One. The first thing I thought was, "That's me! I'm real writer."

Monumental Moments

It got me thinking about the other moments.

• My first book in 4rd grade.

Of course, it was a book only in the sense that it was a story and it was bound. I wrote the 6-page epic entitled The Silver Knives on notebook paper, drew a cover, and bound it with yarn from a disintegrating sweater. I thought it was pretty dang cool though and I still have it.

• My first sports column in the Eatonville Dispatch.

This was a terrible experience. I didn't know the first thing about journalism — my English teacher just said that writers do this kind of thing, so I applied.

I covered girl's tennis and even though I was on the team, I still managed to spell some of my friends' names wrong. What made this a moment? People came up to me and said, "I didn't know you wrote." That was extremely cool.

• My first rejection letter.

This would be followed by MANY other letters, so many I kept a three-ring binder to catalog my journey of rejection. But that first one was fabulous, because only writers get rejection letters.

• Being a finalist at the Austin Film Festival.

I went to the conference knowing I was a finalist, but for some reason I figured there was loads of them. I had no idea there were only three per category. When people saw my Finalist Badge, they started talking to me like I was a REAL writer. It was incredible.

• Receiving a WGA card. When that card arrived, it looked like a nondescript credit card. To me though, it was tangible, 3D, plastic proof was I was a writer.

What are your moments?

There you go. My big "real writer" moments.

So what are yours? We've all got them!

di

Writer vs. Sentence Maker

Just finished teaching a writing class. The students were fabulous and I'm happy to report none of them were savants.

The Dreaded SWS

I dread the Savant Writing Student (SWS). They are usually very nice, but overly optimistic and believe the first thing they write will be picked up by a publisher or producer and consequently make them millions. For the SWS, it's just a matter of getting their manuscript into the right hands.

I know the SWS well — I used to be one. It took me three or four scripts, and piles of rejections, before I realized how little I knew about my craft and that I would spend years (actually a lifetime) developing as a writer.

On the bright side, after three or four scripts, I had inadvertently learned a bit about writing and was several steps closer to being produced.

It Takes Time

I'm not saying you shouldn't try to sell your early manuscripts, but be prepared that learning how to write is like learning anything else. And it takes time and dedication.

In short, just because a person can put a sentence together doesn't make them a "writer". It just makes them a "sentence maker".

I think Turgenev put it best:

"It is a strange thing. A composer studies harmony and theory of musical forms; a painter doesn't paint a picture without knowing something about colors and design; architecture requires basic schooling. Only when somebody makes a decision to start writing, he believes that he doesn't need to learn anything and that anybody who has learned to put words on paper can be a writer."

Learn, learn, learn

If you've just started your journey as a writer, don't beat yourself up because that first story didn't sell . . . or the second, or the third.

Chances are you're not a savant — just like the rest of us. You're in the process of developing your skills like every other professional, from pianist to doctor.

And as a reformed SWS, I'd much rather be putting my hours in writing stories than going to med school.

When My Muse Gets Scared

My muse hates to be beat up — she has a self protection mechanism. (Yes, she's a Lemur.) When I get to a point in my writing that's difficult or takes real courage, she points me toward other projects, ones that are more fun and with have less emotion invested.

Rambling of a Muse

For example, I'm on the last pages of script I really like. This means soon I'll get to face producers, agents and studio folks who are going to trash my story as it's currently written and tell me to rewrite to fit their vision, and if they don't like what I write they'll give it to someone else to rewrite — and that's if I'm lucky and they like my script.

So about now I get scared and my muse coming up with other cool projects besides marketing my script (or evening finishing the script at all), like launching a new web-based magazine with my husband and friends.

Muse is painting some pretty sweet pictures to steer us away from being potentially beat up by Hollywood.

"What's the worst that can happen?" she asks. "We can fail and lose some money? That's better than having our story rewritten and our ego smashed in the process."

Pep Talk

It'll be an ongoing battle from here on out, but I make the good argument.

"All this writing was done for a reason. It would be easier to submit a script that we didn't care about. But who wants to see that movie? We gotta get in there and not crap out." I'm on a roll.

"They may like it. They may hate it. We have no control over their responses. We just have make sure we're proud of it. Gees . . Man up!"

I think my Muse is handing me a taser.