You know it's not a Portfolio Piece When . . .

Today a client asked my husband (a very talented graphic designer and web designer by the way) to make a change on his website. He wanted FAQ changed to FAQs.

My husband explained that he could, but that would be incorrect. FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions, and by adding an “s” it would now be Frequently Asked Questionss. The client said, “Add it anyway, I prefer it that way.”

It's moments like these, my husband and I sigh, cash the check and say, “Well, it's not going to be a portfolio piece.”

Every writer or editor faces times when the client requests less than perfect work. (Please tell me it's not just me.) Here are a few of my favorite client requests.

You Know it's Not a Portfolio Piece When . . .
. . . the client gets capital happy. I Received a sales Piece to Edit with Random Words capitalized. After correcting the capitalization, the client asked that I put the caps back because “they emphasized all the important words.” I tried to explain that the text emphasized that the writer was having a “shift key” malfunction. The client disagreed and I put them back.

You Know it's Not a Portfolio Piece When . . .
. . . they vote on it. When my husband was laying out a newsletter, he noticed a sentence with a grammatical goof. He corrected it and expected maybe a “thanks for catching the error.” Instead he got an email that read, “Our group voted. The first way was right.”

You Know it's Not a Portfolio Piece When . . .
. . . the client is too creative. On occasion I'll get clients who like to create their own buzz words — at least I think that's what they're “banging the dirty cat at.” This client is hopeless. You can tell them that you Googled the phrase and no one on the planet has ever heard of it. The client will undoubtedly respond, “Just wait. They will.”

You Know it's Not a Portfolio Piece When . . .
. . . the admin is your editor. My heart stops when I get an email that reads, “My admin knows a little about writing (i.e. took a creative writing class in community college) and has made some suggestions.”

These, of course, are the exceptions, not the rule. But if you’ve found a way to convince those communication-challenged clients there’s a better way, I’m all ears!



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