The Glamorous Life of Writing

When I was younger, I had this image of writers. It was a glamorous life. They wrote amazing things when they were inspired, made loads of dough and hung out with cool people.

Well, I do hang with cool people, but at the moment that's the only thing glamorous about my life.

The unglamorous side of writing

I'll give you the highlights of the week so far:

• Moved into my office before the plumber finished —NEVER do this. Now the plumber is missing in action and I'm running back and forth to my neighbors (luckily my parents) to use the restroom. I'm also planning terrible things to do to the plumber.

• Invested in barn boots. Since the move, I'm helping my folks with farm chores, which require early morning walks to the barn through a substantial amount of mud and cow pies. My plastic garden clogs weren't keeping out the muck, so I purchased knee-high barn boots.

After using them, they were filthy so I left them outside. Last night it rained and then froze, which I discovered when I tried to put them on.

• My latest assignment is a "manure" article. Yes, it's a theme this week. I'm writing not about what inspires me, but about manure safety equipment (very cool actually) that alerts professional manure pumpers when they are pumping out manure and the hydrogen sulphate levels get too high.

• Flooring is being put in and the dust is extreme. As I write, the dust is settling down on me and my computer, probably destroying my computer and making me look prematurely gray. Will have to schedule a shower with my next toilet run.

There you have it. A not-too-glamorous-writing-life. Even so, I'd still never give up the writing gig.

di

Five Ways to KIck Start Your Muse

I woke up at 4:30 a.m. with the answer to a story problem. For a couple weeks I'd been trying to find an answer to a structural flaw, then suddenly at 4:30 a.m., YURIKA, there it was!

Some people tell me they come up with their good ideas in the car or in the shower. The underlying theme seems to be that our muses need us to be quiet so they can present the answer.

If you're not quite ready to just wait around for your muse to jump in, I do have a few tips to speed it along:

1. Feed the Muse

Sometimes the muse is just hungry. Depending on what problem you're trying to solve, you might consider cooking a new meal, listening to music, taking a long walk. Muses aren't completely cerebral (at least mine isn't), and sometimes they're are moved by new tastes, sounds and experiences.

2. Relax & Trust Your Muse

A stressed muse, being told to perform on command, is a silent muse. Have confidence your muse is at work on your story, even while you're eating, sleeping or doing your taxes. Muses require a little faith.

3. Make a Date with Your Muse

My muse likes structure. I'll work on a story in the evening until I run into a problem that isn't easily solved. I let my muse know that it's quitting time and that we'll pick it back up at the same time tomorrow, when he has an answer. So far, he's never let me down.

4. Talk it Out with Friends

This kind of falls under "feeding the muse", but I like to bring up issues at my writer's group. They will discuss all kinds of options, and although none of them may be avenues I will take, it does provide new ideas for my muse. He often takes off running with one of them.

5. Be Open to Anything

If you're only looking in one spot for an answer, you're limiting your muse. Open your mind. I have an "10 Different Options" exercise I sometimes use. I write down 10 different solutions to my problem to get the juices flowing again. They can be completely insane ideas — again the purpose is to get outside your self made box.

For example, if I were having a problem with the scene where one character is trying to kill another on an tropical island (where there are no guns) by drowning them, I would think up 10 other ways to kill them — hitting them on the head with a rock, throwing them off a cliff, poisoning their coconut milk, finding a poisonous snake, running them over with my jeep, paying a native to off them, etc.

I probably won't use any of these, but the different options will spark your muse.

New Breakthroughs

Hopefully these will get you mused off an running. If you want more ideas, just let me know. I LOVE breakthrough moments, and so does my muse.

di

A Walk in the Garden, aka Story Development

People tell me, "Your garden looks great." I respond, "It's all in the fertilizer," but really it has more to do with story development.

While I'm out weeding, pruning, watering and fertilizing, I'm working on the scenes, plot points and characters.

Stepping in to the Garden

I can literally step into the garden and an hour later step back out unable to remember what I did because I was working on the story.

Yesterday, I was out with a new character — a successful underwear model named Michael — trying to find out why he's so set on becoming an actor.

After talking to him (thank god no one can see me garden except for my husband), I found out that he's been serious about acting since he was in high school. It was while he was in L.A. trying to break in that he did this underwear commercial. How could he know that he'd become an overnight sensation.

Today he's splashed on billboards across the company, famous for his tight buns, and avoided like then plague when it comes to serious acting roles. Everyone sees the Underwear Guy as a joke. He's depressed and wants a real acting roll in WORST way and will do just about anything.

All this information while I was cutting back the dahlias and pruning and weeding the herb garden. I consider it successful multitasking.

No Sharp Instruments

Maybe other writers are different, but I think everyone needs that place they go for inspiration and creative freedom. That place they feel free to wander around with their characters or play around with story ideas. It can be anything from long walks to doing chores.

However, I do recommend avoiding story work while you've got sharp instruments in your hands. I've pruned my fingers and fallen off more ladders than I care to admit.

OK, back to writing.

Capturing Inspiration

All my great ideas seem to come at inconvenient times . . . or at least times I don't have a pen and paper handy.

I carry a note pad in my purse, but can't remember the last time I had my purse when brilliance struck (or at least walked by).

When there's no paper

What do you do when there isn't paper around? Or pen? I will admit to a few desperate measures.

• While mowing the lawn I wrote notes in the dirt in a flower bed.

• Wrote on my hand in the car.

• Wrote on a side of cereal box in the store.

• Wrote on toilet paper in the bathroom.

• Tried to come up with memorable lymrics while on a walk. (By memorable, I mean horrific. Like . . . roses are red, violets are yellow, Jan's watching a Godzilla movie on her iPhone when she runs into a fellow — a gangster guy named Mike, who's also a scifi geek.)

• Wrote notes on a birthday card intended for someone else (very small print on the back, I doubt they noticed).

• Wrote with mud on a rock while on a walk in the woods, then had to find the rock the next day before it rained.

• Wrote in Play-Doh while babysitting.

• And the list goes on . . .

Tell me I'm not the only one who does this. Please!

But I'm not complaining. You got to snag those ideas when they come along, even if it's while you're using a Play-Doh Fuzzy Pumper.

Happy writing!

di

25th Anniversary of Ghostubusters

Hi,

June 8th has been circled on my calendar for quite a while. It's the 25th Anniversary of the release of Ghostbusters — a defining day in my writing life.

In 1984 I knew I wanted to write scripts, but I hadn't started yet. Sitting in the theater, watching Ghostbusters as it headed toward the climax, I was thinking, "This is a GREAT movie. It's funny, the story's cool, the characters are awesome, but there's no way they're going to be able to pull of a great climax. How can they top what we've already seen?" 

That's when the a 60-foot Stay Puft Marshmallow Man appeared. I literally jumped out of my chair and cheered. It was perfect.  To this day, I have a small Stay Puft Marshmallow man on my desk to remind me what I'm supposed to achieve in the third act. 

It's been a long haul since 1984, but my first movie is probably going to be shot late this summer. I owe a debt of gratitude to a lot of movies, but especially Ghostbusters.  

Do you have a life-changing movie?  Would love to hear your story.

di

Pick up that Pen!

A few inspirational words today from Mr. Thomas Edison  . . .

"Vision without execution is hallucination."

Have fun writing this weekend.

di