It would be nice if I could avoid embarrassing moments, but that's not happening any time soon. It's like I have a guardian angel with a sick sense of humor following me around.
Over the years, I've learned to just grin and bear the moments, but then jot them down later to use in stories later when I need a little comedy.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I've chalked up quite a few recently:
• Halloween: Each year we throw a Halloween party for friends and family. This year, after everyone gone home and I was changing out of my costume, I realized that the back side of my "dead english maid" costume had ripped out. It appears I'd been mooning everyone all evening. To make matters worse, I'd been wearing my floral print, granny panties.
No one had said a word, which made me wonder, did they think it was all part of the costume? Were they telling their friends the next day, "Diane's costume was pretty weird. She was an Inappropriate Dead English Maid with Hideous Underwear. Yeah, it was as gross as it sounds."
• Restaurant. Two days later, on our way to lunch, the butt of my old jeans ripped out. (Obviously, I need to call Jenny Craig.) What was I wearing underneath? Those same, stupid floral print granny panties.
I spent the next couple hours finding a dozen ways to keep my butt covered, like running from the car to the restaurant holding the back of my pants together. That night, I threw away the granny panties.
• Food. Not long after, I was carrying pizza out the car and tripped. I dropped the pizza and while spinning my arms to keep my balance, managed to also step in the pizza. On the bright side, I did this with my butt entirely covered.
Lesson Learned
It would be nice to avoided these situations, but they happen. Luckily, we're writers. Most people are just embarrassed when things like this happen. We get to use them!
Signed
Red Faced in Enumclaw
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4 comments:
I say combine the mooning granny panties with the pizza spin. You trip, split your pants, drop the pizza, pizza box opens, you fall caboose first on the pizza - so now your granny panties end up covered in red sauce ... with a pepperoni slices impacted on your buttucks.
My embarrassing moments usually come from my inability to filter my comments in public. Comments that leave my mouth before I can pull them back in. This usually happens when I'm with Kat so she has to suffer the embarrassment as well.
An example: we were in a Value Village one day - both off shopping in differnt areas of the store. We met at the cashier line. I said quite loudly to Kat (apparently my voice is always louder than I think), "Did you see that woman?! She was like 6' 5", an amazon ... wearing a tacky blonde wig and had man hands." Again ... apparently I speak much too loud for what is socially acceptable. Kat turns back and looks at me with a devil stare as in don't you say another word. I look behind me and yes, guess who is standing right behind me - the amazon woman who is, as it turns out, actually a man ... exercising his right to dress and live as a woman. I am mortified.
I think I shall start making a list of this memorable moments ... ;-)
Tami
I LOVE your memorable moment. If you see a story with a large amazon woman with man hands, you'll know what inspired it! :-)
Mine are more wrong word perfect timing. More of the insert foot in mouth. The lucky thing is it's mostly with my husband, not in public. (phew!)
I did just witness a funny moment when a bishop's wife was acidently called a whore. We've been laughing about it for the last three days at my house.
The bishop one is good. How do you inadvertently do that? :-)
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